I remember and miss those days when i would leave work at
5.P.M, lock myself in my room and pray and worship till 9 P.M then make myself
some tea drink and sleep. I remember other times when i would decide that
instead of going home in the evening, i would go to a prayer centre and spend
the whole night there. When i would attend all church meetings without worry
because time wasn’t an issue. But its no longer that time anymore. Now i barely
have an hour for that, and church meeting are only attended when i can. Not because
i don’t want to but with all what is on my side, i has become difficult. However,
i must learn to accept it and take advantage of the few minutes that i have to
seek God.
I must confess that it wasn’t easy to accept that. Many times
i struggled with it and at some point i thought that i was no longer acceptable
to God. However when i kept praying and seeking advice from people of higher
spiritual authority, i realized that it was ok. God also helped me to realize
that there are seasons in life (Eccl 3). Sometimes we are moving fast, other
times its slow and other times there is no movement at all. In my worrying, God
reminded me of a few people in the bible that went through these seasons. One of
them was Joseph the son of Jacob.
From the book of Genesis 37, we learn that Joseph had it all
going on great. His father loved him and he had dreams and visions and his life
was moving in the right direction. However, one act by his brothers changed
everything. While in the cistern and then when he was sold to slavery, his life
seemed to be digressing and his dreams might have faded away in his mind. He was
taken to work as a slave in a land that he had never thought of. He became a
slave working in a home that he had never imagined and at this time his life
was stagnant.
It wasn’t until he was elevated to a farm manager that his
life somehow started making sense. However, this was cut short when he was
accused of attempted raped and was throw into prison. It must have been a
terrible season. Here there was no freedom to do anything, he could not dream,
he could do nothing. It was a hopeless situation, and he never saw himself
coming out of it. This meant that none of his dreams would be accomplished. The
worst thing was that he was sure that he would never see his father again who
he loved very much. It was terrible and i must confess that at some point that
is how i felt.
My inability to pray and seek God has much as i had done
before made me feel like i had lost complete contact with God. I feared that i
would fall and that God would not accept me back. see http://veramoses.blogspot.co.ke/2016/01/i-have-prayed-for-you.html.
But God has helped me realize that its a season and it will end. And just like
how after a long stay in the prison and a dream by a king helped Joseph come
out, get a promotion which meant his dreams being fulfilled and later seeing
his father again, i will one day wake up from the business of life and season
of stagnation and low speed and i will seek the Lord for a whole day without
worry of schedules.
God bless you and keep growing in Him.
