Have you ever gone before God when you are sure of what you
want to tell Him but when you get there you only find that you can only tell
Him just two or three words? That is exactly what happened to me this evening. I
had just gotten in my house from work and was so ready to do my devotion. I had
so many things in my mind. Actually, I had a plan of the next thing I was about
to start praying for, for the next few weeks as I waited for Him to accomplish
it for me. I had planned that I would write it on my journal so as to keep it
as a reminder, as a pray item. So phone off, a bible, a pen and my journal in
place at my usually location of prayer and I was set to start.
It wasn’t until I opened my journal that I saw something I had
written a few months ago, that I went blank. All that I had in my mind just
went off and I couldn’t stop weeping. For a moment I was out of words and my
understanding of God was completely challenged. I thought that I had known God
enough but I realized that I had been limiting Him to my little thoughts, a pen
and a little journal.
You see, I am the kind of person who loves to write. I write
everything down from plans, to budgets, dreams and so much more. For this
reason, almost all my stuff is written somewhere. So when I opened that page of
my journal, I read something that triggered my memory of almost everything that
was in that journal. Most of that stuff was prayers that I had written down and
the many timelines I had set for God and myself. What made me weep is the
realization that most of those prayers had not been answered. At that point I wondered
who God really is. However, I could not utter many words because my strength to
speak had just gone. All I managed to say was, “I know that God you are real,
true and you are the reason I am here”.
After these words it came to my realization how much God had
accomplished for me. Many times in my heart I had desired so many things. However,
because I never imagined of them being possible, I had never taken time to even
write them down or pray about them. This is because I thought that they were
far way out of my reach. It is then that I realized that instead of the little
things that I had limited God to through a pen and a journal, God had been out
to show me that He can do even those big things that I desired yet I thought
were impossible. Slowly He began to show me how He has been working to bring me
these things in my life. True to my imaginations, these things were impossible
in my own ways. However, God has and is making them fall into place in ways
that no human mind can explain. What I had planned to use on something, God
uses to do another greater thing in ways only Him can explain ( just like the 2
fish and 5 loaves story in the bible) to
just meet the great desires of my heart, the ones not in my journals.
After this encounter I wanted to burn my journals because I felt
a little foolish but then I realized I needed them. I did not need them to make
me feel stupid for limiting myself or God, but God helped me see that I needed
them to help me understand that it’s ok to pray but that I should not limit Him
to my little prayers that make Him seem like He can’t perform. That even when I
have it all planned, I should pose for a moment and see that His plans are not
always like mine but are greater. That I should not make timelines for Him but I
should seek wisdom from Him has ‘I plan my life’ and that I should commit my
ways to Him.
I read in the bible (James 4:15) that when we plan we should
say, “If God wills I will do this or that”, because only He understands what
lies ahead of us. It is good to plan but let us always ask God to help us to be
on the same page with Him. Let us also remember not to limit God because He has
given us a free mind. He says that He will do to us more that any eye has seen or
any ear has heard. And that He will meet the desires of our hearts. This is
exactly what He will do when we seek His kingdom first and surrender to Him. This
is the secret. I have been applying it and I can see it working- seeking Him
first and surrendering all to Him.
God bless you and keep growing in Him.
